Banned from Walmart

[XXL]

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'


Regards,
Tom Richards
Walmart Manager

Howie

[ConstantColorUpor]

I find it hard to believe you did these things, but whether you did or not, thats f*cking hilarious

[XXL]

Originally Posted by boucher21

I find it hard to believe you did these things, but whether you did or not, thats f*cking hilarious

Not me, just a funny as hell story.

[Dr. Jack]

Originally Posted by XXL

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

That was one of the funniest things I have read. LMAO

[Trossi3389]

Classic !!

[XXL]

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.




My personal favorite

[HAMILROCK]

Awesome!!!!

[Wellahiya]

even better than teh german version that i knew already (wich had just 12 reasons )

[Lukester]

Yeah, it's a good one. I hate going to Walmart...but still go once every three months or so. Don't ask why, I have no better answer than to feel better for myself as most are low-life shoppers that go there.

[cman]

The tomatoe juice is great!!!

wde

[westcoastO]

lol this was pretty funny. even funnier was boucher's response.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

lol.

[jaypasco]

this reminds of the time i fell in love at a walmart

late xmas shopping at the wallmart...

[dhunter]

Originally Posted by jaypasco

this reminds of the time i fell in love at a walmart

late xmas shopping at the wallmart...

did you hit it?

[jaypasco]

fake number dave. f me

[Snowman]

Originally Posted by Lukester

Yeah, it's a good one. I hate going to Walmart...but still go once every three months or so. Don't ask why, I have no better answer than to feel better for myself as most are low-life shoppers that go there.

low life shoppers lol too funny. Get over yourself bud