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#1
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Baseball In Heaven
(wasn't sure whether to put it here, or in Main Street).
Two 90 year old men, Moe and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.When it's clear that Joe is dying, Moe visits him every day. One day Moe says, "Joe, we both loved baseball all our lives, and we played minor league ball together for so many years. Please do me one favor, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's baseball there." Joe looks up at Moe from his death bed, " Moe, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you. Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Moe is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Moe--Moe." "Who is it?" asks Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?" "Moe--it's me, Joe." "You're not Joe. Joe just died." "I'm telling you, it's me, Joe", insists the voice. "Joe ! ! Where are you ? ?" "In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news".... "Tell me the good news first," says Moe. "The good news," Joe says," is that there's baseball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired." "That's fantastic," says Moe. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?" "You're pitching Tuesday"
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Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"! Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal? Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright? |
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#2
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gonna give myself a bump here cause I'm not sure anyone saw this, and I thought it was pretty funny.
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Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"! Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal? Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright? |
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#3
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Got this email about two months ago. Yep not bad at all.
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CM Posted 2003 till 2012 records (updated daily) : NHL : +161 (units) NFL : +3 MLB : +55 NBA : -20 WNBA : +23 Aussie NBL Hoops : +96 Cricket : +69 Golf : -5 Rugby union and rugby league : +126 Soccer : -5 Netball : +8 AFL (Aussie Rules) : +71 Total : +582 units 1 unit or less = small bet, 1-3 = medium, 3+ = large Cappersmall Hall of Fame 2008 |
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#4
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Quote:
__________________
Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"! Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal? Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright? |
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#5
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this is a good one
truth be told I heard this one 5 or 6 years ago.. lol.. funny though |
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#6
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you cant bump a joke. lol
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#7
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Quote:
To quote Howard Stern: "kish mere in tookus iran"
__________________
Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"! Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal? Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright? |
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#8
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What day was it?
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#9
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Bump
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