Cattle expert???

[Ron Mexico]

CATTLE EXPERT

A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses
and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give
me a
calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it

to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where
he
calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports
it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds,
he
receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed
and
the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC
connected
Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of
this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and
says,
"You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, Why
not?"

"You're a consultant," says the cowboy

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though

nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
to a
question I never asked, and you don't know anything about my business.

Now give me back my dog.