Charlie Sheen Steals the Show at His Comedy Central Roast

[sportsreport]

For Smooth .....


Charlie Sheen smiled through a Comedy Central roast as Mike Tyson, William Shatner, actress Kate Walsh and half a dozen comedians riffed on his high-profile year.

Sheen was famously fired from his sitcom "Two and a Half Men" in March after a very public meltdown during which he claimed to be a "rock star from Mars" who has "tiger blood" and "Adonis DNA."


The 46-year-old actor is the subject of the latest roast, which was taped Saturday night at Sony Studios and will air Sept. 19 on Comedy Central.

Sheen took the stage in true rock-star fashion, as rock `n' roll guitarist Slash heralded his introduction. The actor, dressed in a black suit, white shirt and red tie, smiled and laughed as roasters jabbed at his famous family, his notorious taste for drugs and prostitutes and his primetime firing.

"Charlie's meltdown was so bad, Al Gore's making a documentary about it," quipped comedian Jeffrey Ross, who was dressed as Muammar Gaddafi in a military outfit with fringed epaulets and a sash.

"The only time your kids get to see you is in re-runs," Ross said.

Comedian Jon Lovitz also took a timely swipe at Sheen: "How much (cocaine) can Charlie Sheen do?" he asked. "Enough to kill two and a half men."

Priceline pitchman Shatner reminded Sheen to "book your next rehab stay through Priceline.com."

Walsh, who is best known for her roles on "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice," gave standup a shot at the roast. "It's amazing, despite all those years of abusing your lungs, your kidneys and your liver, the only thing you've had removed is your kids," she said to Sheen.

The most bizarre performer was Tyson, who got plenty of laughs despite his almost unintelligible delivery. "I'm the greatest poet alive," he said as he concluded his time on stage. "I will eat your children!"

Comedian Amy Schumer joked, "Is his interpreter here?"

Steve-O of "Jackass" fame was also among the roasters. His big trick was running repeatedly into Tyson's fist, which he did until he reportedly broke his nose.

The comics also took digs at Sheen's former live-in girlfriends, whom he referred to as "the goddesses," and ex-wife Brooke Mueller, who was sitting in the audience Saturday.

After the comedians had their say, roast master Seth MacFarlane introduced the night's honoree as "a man with a big heart, because it's been dangerously enlarged by cocaine use."

Sheen jabbed back at his roasters and poked fun at his image.

"It's true I've hung around with a lot of shady people over the years: Losers, drug addicts, dealers, desperate whores," he said. "But to have you all here on one night is really special."

He sipped a drink as he addressed the crowd, who sat in bleachers and at bar tables inside Sony Studios' stage 27. At one point, he seemed to reflect sincerely on his career, talking about how he had "the biggest salary on television" and publicly enjoyed drugs and porn stars before telling off his boss.

"And then it was gone in one fiery public flameout," he said.

"It was only when the smoke cleared I realized just how lucky I am, because even after all that, I still have a family that loves me. That's why they're not here tonight," he continued. "They've seen me in jail. They've seen me rushed to emergency rooms. They've seen me dragged into court. But seeing me on basic cable would kill them."

He said he's done with his catchphrase -- winning! -- because he feels he's already won.

"This roast may be over, but I'm Charlie Sheen, and in here burns an internal fire," he said, touching his chest. "I just have to remember to keep it away from a crack pipe."

[guzzi]

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[bdragon]

gotta see it

[bdgear]

"It's true I've hung around with a lot of shady people over the years: Losers, drug addicts, dealers, desperate whores," he said. "But to have you all here on one night is really special."


that is funny

[Orange Lighter]

when does this air?

[dhunter]

Originally Posted by Orange Lighter

when does this air?

next monday

[ParrotHead]

Cant wait, hoping for that guy that ripped every one good from the Trump roast to be there

[bdgear]

did anyone watch this last night? it was freaking funny as hell.

[ParrotHead]

Wasnt as good as some of the others

[bigsportsguy2006]

was pretty fuking funny

[ZoomVT]

it was alright... some were surprisingly funny, others were super lame...

i thought amy schumer was one of the funniest...

[bigsportsguy2006]

absolutelyyyyy, that chick was realllll funny. had me cracking up at the end!

[bigsportsguy2006]

“I should explain how this happened. I told Charlie Sheen that I was so grateful to be a part of his roast that I was going to attempt to get a black I from Mike Tyson. I dove face-first into Mike Tyson’s fist, although it was my forehead that landed on it that first time. It wasn’t until the end of the show that I was allowed to give it another proper try. It took two more tries at the end of the show, but I ended up getting it done. As a matter of fact, I broke my nose badly in the process, it was in a whole new spot on my face. As a cameraman filmed blood pouring out of my nose, a guy in the crowd came over and told me he could set my nose straight right there on the spot. I couldn’t believe it, it hurt like hell, but he managed to pop the bone right back into place. That’s so awesome, I think my nose will actually wind up straighter than it’s been since Bam Margera broke it on the set of Jackass 3D. What a great deal, I get to say that I got two black eyes and a broken nose from Mike Tyson, and I’m going to come out of it looking better than I did before it happened. Yeah dude!”

Steve-O's photo "I should explain how this hap..." on WhoSay

[Gobbler's Knob]

Originally Posted by Orange Lighter

when does this air?

Best name and avatar by far. Haha , well done.

[HAMILROCK]

amy schumer stole the show....