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  #1  
Old 03-07-2009, 04:26 PM
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A Day Of the "WildCat"

A DOG’S LIFE
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Day 983 of my captivity.WILDCAT
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments
about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how
to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt
to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving
around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow --
but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released - and seems to be more
than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody
for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now.......
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  #2  
Old 03-07-2009, 04:40 PM
The Molecular Man
 
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Where is the part where he has 17 Jack and Cokes and winds up in the drunk thread?
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  #3  
Old 03-07-2009, 04:47 PM
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now you understand why he's drunk thread moderater ...
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  #4  
Old 03-07-2009, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris46139
Where is the part where he has 17 Jack and Cokes and winds up in the drunk thread?
lmfao
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  #5  
Old 03-08-2009, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris46139
Where is the part where he has 17 Jack and Cokes and winds up in the drunk thread?

or the part where the chick pissed his bed?
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  #6  
Old 03-08-2009, 12:20 PM
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or he is hooking up with davenz's coke girl?
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Oops... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.

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