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  #1  
Old 03-14-2008, 11:47 AM
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The Decision

Subject: The Decision

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... Something happened.

I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."

The man perks up at this.

"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.

"So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"She has," says the man.

"And what is it?" asks the doctor.




"We're getting a new kitchen."

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Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright?
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  #2  
Old 03-14-2008, 12:03 PM
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basement
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  #3  
Old 03-14-2008, 12:27 PM
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lmao
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  #4  
Old 03-14-2008, 12:29 PM
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  #5  
Old 03-14-2008, 12:35 PM
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the married guys can appreciate this one more.
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Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright?
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  #6  
Old 03-14-2008, 12:38 PM
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yes women are blood sucking leeches that will take everything you have even your penis. 100% sure mine would do the same, the bad thing is, you spend a small fortune redoing the kitchen, yet you can't get a cooked meal to save your life.
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  #7  
Old 03-14-2008, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alby
yes women are blood sucking leeches that will take everything you have even your penis. 100% sure mine would do the same, the bad thing is, you spend a small fortune redoing the kitchen, yet you can't get a cooked meal to save your life.
: l
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  #8  
Old 03-14-2008, 12:48 PM
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lol

since i left the army i live from delivery service, i mean, except for BBQ or simple stuff... but cooking a real meal? no way... so when my finacee aint around - the delivery service is my best friend... and if i had no machine to clean my dishes, i'd seriously consider using paper plates and plastic knife, fork and spoon if that wouldnt let me look like a bummer

save the money for the kitchen for some great meals!
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  #9  
Old 03-15-2008, 12:42 AM
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ya so ****in boring thatgs why da ****in gopher whooped up on indy u...blllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllow me **** face....
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  #10  
Old 03-15-2008, 12:46 AM
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aovw wioksaojfksajhfioujcsn nmwqkaedmqawkforntq3ljpwqf[nmsjfnjoenrttrbnwn2w3qwr2...2iwh dish olrewentiqa,ll woul de alay pff my dixcj fiujr anmoiwjnirttqe
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  #11  
Old 03-15-2008, 10:01 AM
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lol
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