Great bad movie alert!

[Mendoza Line]

”Mega Python Vs Gatoroid” tonight on SyFy!

‘Mega Python Vs Gatoroid’: So astoundingly bad that it’s fun

Orlando Sentinel
January, 29 2011 12:51 PM

The Everglades has faced many crises but never one as astoundingly goofy as ”Mega Python Vs Gatoroid.”

This campy disaster movie, which unites pop princesses Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, crash-lands at 9 tonight on Syfy.

An animal-rights activist (Debbie Gibson) frees illegally imported snakes into the Glades. A determined park ranger (Tiffany) comes up with an unusual scheme to counter the snake threat: She feeds gators steroids.

The gators morph into King Kong-size creatures that stomp down city streets. (You’ll spot several Orlando landmarks.)

“Mega Python” is a strange concoction, a mix of cheesy special effects, trashy dialogue, improbable situations and snarling female protagonists.

Tiffany and Debbie hurl rhymes-with-witch at each other repeatedly, then slap each other at a fund-raising party. “Mega Python” is into recycling – those scenes look something from “Dynasty.”

Tiffany has more bad dialogue to chew on, and her park ranger takes the crisis personally. “These snakes destroyed my home, they ruined everything,” she whines. “We need a bigger gator.”

Both actresses give performances as cheesy as the special effects. Along for the wacky mayhem are Mickey Dolenz of The Monkees, Kathryn Joosten of “Desperate Housewives” and veteran actor A Martinez.

“Mega Python” wipes out a good chunk of the cast, because the characters never know when a giant python might slither by. And it’s hard to a fight a gator the size of aircraft carrier.

But the actors keep straight faces throughout; they let the viewers do all the laughing. “Mega Python” will take a bite out of your troubles for a couple of hours.

[Mendoza Line]

YouTube - Mega Python VS Gatoroid Trailer 1

[QuadzillaXXX]

awesome, i love that shit

[justdonating]

Watching Malibu Shark Attack on SyFy right now....so bad, its good....

[Mendoza Line]

Watching that right now, too.

Lake Placid 2 is on later. I've seen it before; it is absolutely awful!! (In a good way.) And it was by a studio, not made by a cable channel.

[Mendoza Line]

Originally Posted by justdonating

Watching Malibu Shark Attack on SyFy right now....so bad, its good....

Oh, and how about the "big star" being Peta (La Femme Nikita) Wilson?

[QuadzillaXXX]

love that there's always some "big" star, like the one i watched with jerri from survivor lol can't remember which one

[justdonating]

Making this a SyFy day.....Megashark vs. Giant Octopus coming on now......

[Mendoza Line]

If you go to IMDB, a lot of movies, especially bad ones, have a "What I learned while watching....." thread. Usually pretty funny.

Things I learned from watching Malibu Shark Attack

1. A flimsy wooden lifeguard shack can survive a direct hit from a tsunami without even a tiny bit of structural damage.

2. Not only are Goblin sharks extinct, but they're also extremely rare (LOL)

3. After news reports report complete devastation in California are read, the next shot, simply a downed STOP sign, is representative of the damage

4. Bimbos are still stupid and vapid even when their lives are in immediate danger. Somehow there must be a gene that prevents instinct from taking over.

5. At one point in history, Sharks mated with Rhinos

6. The easiest way to get to the roof of the indestructible lifeguard shack is by swimming through shark infested waters - the scene of a recent vicious attack - to get outside so you can climb onto the roof - instead of just climbing through the roof.

7. If you take the script from Tremors and set it on a beach with characters less intelligent than rednecks from a forgotten valley you will have the script from this movie.

8. Sharks growl underwater

9. Sharks used to living near the bottom of the ocean suddenly enjoy swimming along the surface.

10. Sharks can leap out of the water like Marlins and snatch whole people from dry land and fall back into the ocean. Not even the 8,000lb Mako from Deep BLue Sea was this athletic.

11. Tsunamis only result in flooding.

12. It's more important to save the sharks hunting you than for you to survive.

13. Metal filing cabinets float

14. When they leave the military, Navy Seals often become lifeguards

15. Contractors do not have insurance yet they get to build amazing properties on multi-million dollar land sites

16. Parasailing is fun except when a shark bites off half your friend

...

18. While being cut by a razor/axe/anything sharp, the shark will just take it, growl, and then swim away.

...

20. A tsunami looks like a ten foot high CGI wave

...

22. Goblin sharks are blind, so none of them had to watch the movie.

23. Luxurious ocean-front property at Malibu has a power supply that survives a tsunami, but there's no working landline in the house.

24. No one on a construction crew carries a phone but the contractor.

25. Cell phones that worked before the tsunami do not work afterward, even though the infrastructure is far inland.

26. People using power tools to kill a submerged shark will not be electrocuted.

27. Ammunition and gas-powered chainsaws that have been submerged do not get wet enough to fail.

...

31. When your single shot with a flare gun is the only hope you have of alerting people inland that you and your friends are stranded in shark-infested waters, be sure to use that shot on one shark that is in the water when you are, for the moment, safely on the roof and probably surrounded by many more sharks.

32. After a tsunami the water will be crystal clear despite all the debris.... which is good so you'll have no problem seeing the cabinet with the ammo when you have to make a swim for it and can only hold your breath for 10 minutes or so.

...

54 - A tiny cut in your thigh (not hitting your femoral artery) is life threatening and you can bleed to death unless someone stitches you up.

[Mendoza Line]

Originally Posted by justdonating

Making this a SyFy day.....Megashark vs. Giant Octopus coming on now......

Yeah, they're doing it up right today!

Really can't wait to rewatch Lake Placid 2. The only way that movie could be any better/worse is if Steven Segal was in it! The "big star" is John (Bo Duke) Schneider.



"I told you to close the lake!"
"Yea I wasn't entirely sure what you meant by that..."
"When I get back to the office, I'm going to throw a dart at you."

"theses eggs are making noises"

[Mendoza Line]

Oh, god, justdonating.....watching Megashark vs. Giant Octopus......this chemisty lab scene is killing me!!! Mixing liquids of all different colors and shaking their heads as they look at each other!

So terrible!

[HAMILROCK]

Originally Posted by Mendoza Line

Oh, god, justdonating.....watching Megashark vs. Giant Octopus......this chemisty lab scene is killing me!!! Mixing liquids of all different colors and shaking their heads as they look at each other!

So terrible!

I'd bang debbie gibson..

[Mendoza Line]

If you mix two different colors together and they start glowing very brightly, then your experiment is a success.

[justdonating]

Originally Posted by Mendoza Line

Oh, god, justdonating.....watching Megashark vs. Giant Octopus......this chemisty lab scene is killing me!!! Mixing liquids of all different colors and shaking their heads as they look at each other!

So terrible!

My wife and I can't stop laughing. This is literally some bad acting, bad plot, bad everything, but so bad I can't turn the channel!

[Mendoza Line]

How about that old scientist? "You can’t turn on the TV with out hearing about another unexplained ocean disaster."

And Lorenzo Lamas? "If you control the oceans you control the world."