How To Be a Great Poster

Seanie Mac · #1 08-04-2010, 10:21 PM

Lost in the Miami Heat signing the new Big 3, was me inking a new 5yr/60k contract to post at CappersMall. The deal carries me to 30 years old where many posters fall off so I am already expecting a paycut and not another max contract. If you were wondering why several mods have not been posting here lately, it is true, they were released so I could get mine. Hopefully the find work at another forum and Jack and I wish them the best

Spoke with retired poster Jaypasco to get some help for this. If you are having trouble getting noticed, or your threads don't get enough views, I an going to help you and hopefully some other posters will chime in

1.) You need a good name. Must be original yet simple. Must be easy to remember. Now if you are like 30 and call yourself that texas boy, you're ****ed.

2.) never keep a record. no one will be able to easily call you on your fake one you just posted in your thread. people are generally lazy, they mat just say **** it and not bother to look it up, therefore you are always +50 Units and hitting 62%. Or you could never post plays, just say you and your gambling cartel had this bet in July

3.) you need to always advertise what you are going to be having in your threads in your thread titles. Have to have at least 5 GOYs a year in each sport, 10* plays are a must everyday, and 80 unit plays at -200 should happen at least once a month. Exclamation points are key

4.) you always get the best line no matter what, total is 11, you post 9. always use the local line card, how can anyone prove that's not what you got, boom they can't, or you got it at Pinnacle because Pinnacle allows you and you only to play there from the US

5.) you have to be the coolest person ever, and make everyone believe we should thank you everyday for posting with us. you flip businesses and make bank, you were mr vip at clubs at 18. you wipe tears from your eyes with 100s and you only wear Ed Hardy. You have to 1st lie to yourself before everyone else

6.) still not getting views? manufacture them on your own. respond to every good luck with thank you, keeping your thread on the 1st page and noticed.

7.) if all else fails. make a bunch of longshot predictions, and I mean a bunch, and constantly bump the 3 that hit. that will make it look like you are sharp. we already established people are lazy, so odds are they won't go look up the 41 that you missed. No need to even say words when you bump, just use emoticon. Never respond to a missed longshot prediction, let it fade.

I hope this helps everyone for football season. What did I miss?

Pap · #2 08-04-2010, 10:28 PM

8) wear lots of hats & suits to 5 star restaurants like applebees while being a general assclown

QuadzillaXXX · #3 08-04-2010, 10:31 PM

holy shit, pap is banned and even he has more posts than i do

Seanie Mac · #4 08-04-2010, 10:31 PM

yes mlb hats and jordans are vital can't believe I missed that one good call pap smear

Pap · #5 08-04-2010, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuadzillaXXX

holy shit, pap is banned and even he has more posts than i do

thats how i roll

bigsportsguy2006 · #6 08-04-2010, 10:46 PM

ill nominate this for post of the month ... solid post that took some shots at some good guys here that will be able to handle it. nicely done seanie.