how would you respond?

[robertg]

guys I'm really looking for your input....

My wife is a stay at home mom. I make a comfortable living as a finance director at a large auto dearlership. however, with the recent increase in interest rates and gas prices last year was about 15 k pay cut, and this year looks to be even tougher. add to that, i have two daughters from my first marriage that will be in college in the next 3 years, so i have even been doing my own yard and cleaning my own pool to save money. tonight, as I'm watching the rangers give up 4 runs per inning, while my wife is at some stupid "scrapbooking'" EVENT, the phone rings, i answer, and the lady on the other end identiies herself as "I'm the lady who cleans your house, i just wanted terri to know i'd be there tomorrow." I had no knowledge of such of deal and i'm so pissed i can't stand it. How would you handle this situation?
I don't hit girls, so i need other reccomendations.

thanks for your input
rg

[Hoosiercatdaddy]

stay at home and she hired someone to clean the house? Yeah bro, its time for you to flex. I am not married so i cant say what i would do, but sounds like she is not making the sacrafices that you need her to.

[Bobtheicon]

I'd nail the cleaning lady

[rmaciasl]

im not even marriage , but i supose u talk to her

[Trossi3389]

Tell her shes getting a job and shes paying for it. Close all your accounts and open your own. The trust is gone in your relationship bro. she gets cocky. Give her a backhander.

[jaypasco]

Originally Posted by Bobtheicon

I'd nail the cleaning lady

..

[Keith]

if she is paying for the cleaning lady herself, what is the problem here ??? It's not as if she is asking you for more money for the cleaning lady. And by the way, I also have 2 daughters in school (grade school), and taking care of them is a full-time job.

[robertg]

its my money, bro, she may pay, but Its my money. btw, excellent idea, bobtheicon!!!!!!!!!

[robertg]

of course, i won't!!!!!! i'll just be pissed off at her.

[skippy]

You need to have a talk with her but keep it civil.

Let her know that the cleaning lady will be over tomorrow to clean the house.
Watch for her reaction.
Its obvious she hasn't told you of the arrangement.
She should be shocked that you had found out.
Listen to the explanation she gives you.
Then ask for the details, like how long this has been going on, how often does she come over, and of course, how much does it cost.

Then just let this sit for a bit.....

So if in the next few days or weeks, instead of going out for dinner or a movie or things like that, just say that things are getting tough, with your pay cut, and hiring of a maid, etc etc, that it might be wise to cut out the things that are luxuries, and only spending on necessities.

Do this for a few weeks or months. It would be perfect if there is a big-ticket item on the horizon. Saying that you will have to cancel the item unless you can find the extra cash......like getting rid of the maid.

That should teach her a lesson......in the value of money earned not by her, and for lying to you LOL.

That is just my advice. You can do this at whatever pace you see fit, such as asking her to fire the maid immediately, etc etc.

Good Luck.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by robertg

its my money, bro, she may pay, but Its my money. btw, excellent idea, bobtheicon!!!!!!!!!

but are you already giving it to her (for food, clothes, etc...) ? If so, then I don't see the issue. All that being said, I would use it to extort sexual favors from the wife (lol).

[Dr. Jack]

A couple of thoughts

1. Don’t listen to anyone here who is not married if you enjoy being married.
2. What is the problem actually?
3. Even if you think she should be cleaning the house – I am sure she does a lot and the minute you say something to her about this like you are insulted or something, you will basically be saying, “Yo bitch, I make the money – you clean the damn house." If you think it – don’t ever say it or enjoy your divorce. JMO

[skippy]

Originally Posted by Keith

but are you already giving it to her (for food, clothes, etc...) ? If so, then I don't see the issue. All that being said, I would use it to extort sexual favors from the wife (lol).

Isn't that against the law???
Paying someone for sex.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by Dr. Jack

A couple of thoughts

1. Don’t listen to anyone here who is not married if you enjoy being married.
2. What is the problem actually?
3. Even if you think she should be cleaning the house – I am sure she does a lot and the minute you say something to her about this like you are insulted or something, you will basically be saying, “Yo bitch, I make the money – you clean the damn house." If you think it – don’t ever say it or enjoy your divorce. JMO

well put Jack. Bet most of the others who've responded are not even married.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by skippy

Isn't that against the law???
Paying someone for sex.

not when you're married to that person (lol). Married men do it all the time.