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Old 03-04-2011, 11:10 AM
A gun beats 4 aces always
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Thumbs up I love this Chinese Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
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Overall 2012 (6-9-0 -390)

NBA 2012 (0-2-0 -220)
NCAA 2012 (6-7-0 -170)


Final 2011 (114-103-11 +555)

updated JAN.24,2012 4:40pm
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  #2  
Old 03-04-2011, 11:55 AM
Im your Huckleberry
 
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Asians know best, healthy and live a long time
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2011/2012
NFL 0-1
CFB 1-0
NHL 17-20

It's going to be a long season
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  #3  
Old 03-04-2011, 01:36 PM
Which one of you nuts...
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
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Saw this posted somewhere else about a year ago. Still makes me laugh.
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The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings.
Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. ~ Winston Churchill

Martin Luther King had a dream for black people -- Jesse Jackson & the State have a scheme for black people. ~ Rev C L Bryant
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