Jimmy K's Rants

Jimmy K · #1 09-08-2006, 07:03 PM

I will come up with a new name for my pieces, but basically a couple times a week I will post a rant about simple things that piss me off. It will all be in good fun so I hope nobody gets offended by it. I will probably do a couple a week and any comments regarding my rants are more than welcome. Let's begin tonight....

Rant #1 (9/8/06)

Topic: Homeless People in NY

Homeless people in NY really piss me off. Not because they are homeless, not because they smell, not because they don't have jobs or because they are drunks and druggies, but because they are f'ing retarded! Here's the thing, if you are homeless, why the hell would you live in NY? It's hot and humid in the summer and miserably cold and snowy in the winter. Who the hell wants to live like that? I'll tell you who, retarded people, I'm not talking about blue bus riding, hockey helmet wearing retards, but I'm talking about the kind of people who open AA clinics next to a bar or the type of person who drives through South Central LA blasting Barry Manilow.

Here's the thing, if your homeless and a bum you have plenty of time on your hands, walk to Cali or Florida. Not only will you end up somewhere with great weather, but you might get some great excercise, not to mention if enough of them did it, it would make the news and Nike and Reebok would probably sponsor the walks and it would be put on ESPN 2 at 2am. I can picture it now Trey Wingo saying "after sportcenter keep the dial here for the homeless marathon to California". I've been to LA, I see how homeless people live there, they have themselves a great tree next to the beach and great weather year round, sure they might have their sleep interrupted by an occasional earthquake, but at least it ain't 15 below zero! You know why you don't see homeless people in Alaska? Cuz Alaskan homeless are smart and they move their asses to Seattle where they are called hippies. Not only that, if you are homeless in NY you have to be dirty, you can't go for a bath in the Harlem River, you'd come out worse than when you went in. If you are in Cali or Florida you can take a dip in a lake and let the sun dry you off. So, you may be homeless, but now you are presentable, and I'd rather throw a nickel in the can of a presentable homeless guy than a dirty one that smells like my cat after rolling around in dog shit on a hot summer day.

I urge all homeless people in NY to stop being retarded and walk to someplace warm, you ain't got nothin else to do you lazy bastards.