Joke of the day thread

[Randle Pat McMurphy]

Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.
" Walter," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Walter?"

"I have four questions:

First, Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?

Second, Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually gotten worse?

Third, Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?

Fourth, Why are we lending $ to Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time... Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question, Steve?"

Actually, I have two questions.

First, Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?

Second, What happened to Walter?"

[Steel]

Classic

[be47320]

Old people love jokes

[bobby2]

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and
he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker
if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book,
replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

" Oh, I don't know," said the atheist.. "How about why there is
no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled
smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me
ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that
is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's
intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified
to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after
death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book

[sjmartin57ca]

Little Johnny recieved his first homework assignment from sex-ed class, What is a Penis ? On the way home from school Little Johnnies buddy asks how we gonna find out what a penis is ? no props says Johnny I'll ask my Dad he tells me everything. Suppertime rolls around and Johnny blurts out his question to dad, Mama freaks out Big John take Little John into the bathroom and explain this to him.

In the bathroom Dad takes his unit out of his pants and procedes to tell Little Johnie this is a penis and as a matter of fact this is a "Perfect Penis"

Next morning on the way to school Little Johnies buddy meets up with him to find out if he got the answer to the homework question, Johnny grabs him and goes behind a bush and proceeds to pull out his dick and tell his buddy "this is a penis and if it was 3" shorter it would be perfect"

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common ? Both empty from the neck up.

[RanPicks]

An illegal alien, a Muslim and a socialist walk into a bar...


Bartender says "what can I do for you Mr President?"

[Randle Pat McMurphy]

Originally Posted by RanPicks

An illegal alien, a Muslim and a socialist walk into a bar...


Bartender says "what can I do for you Mr President?"

Better hope our resident Obama apologists dont see this....

[Randle Pat McMurphy]

Originally Posted by be47320

Old people love jokes

Can certainly see why you won poster of the year

[bigsportsguy2006]

love it. im young.

[be47320]

Originally Posted by Randle Pat McMurphy

Can certainly see why you won poster of the year

love how it bothers you

[Randle Pat McMurphy]

Originally Posted by be47320

love how it bothers you

Like I said, congrats. Know how very important the award is to you. Should be very, very proud.

Sure Mom and Dad have told you how proud they are to see you reach the top. Brings a tear to my eye.

[be47320]

Originally Posted by Randle Pat McMurphy

Like I said, congrats. Know how very important the award is to you. Should be very, very proud.

Sure Mom and Dad have told you how proud they are to see you reach the top. Brings a tear to my eye.

they wouldnt care, its obviously a very big deal to you....which is what amuses me about the award

old and bitter and alone is no way to live out whats left of your life randall

[Randle Pat McMurphy]

Originally Posted by be47320

they wouldnt care, its obviously a very big deal to you....which is what amuses me about the award

old and bitter and alone is no way to live out whats left of your life randall

Poor BE, obviously struck a nerve, huh? That is why you have to throw out one of your 5th grade, class clown like comments everywhere I post.

My own childish internet stalker

[be47320]

Originally Posted by Randle Pat McMurphy

Poor BE, obviously struck a nerve, huh? That is why you have to throw out one of your 5th grade, class clown like comments everywhere I post.

My own childish internet stalker

deflection 101 here

am I making you think a bit? If so, Ive done my good deed for the day.

[Randle Pat McMurphy]

Originally Posted by be47320

deflection 101 here

am I making you think a bit? If so, Ive done my good deed for the day.

Post history says it all...obsess much, Billy?