"Kick their ass, Tiger" CBSSportsline writer. LMAO

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Here's hoping Tiger eats detractors alive at Ryder Cup - Golf, PGA Tour - CBSSports.com PGA


Here's hoping Tiger eats detractors alive at Ryder Cup

By Gregg Doyel
Tell Gregg your opinion! CBSSports.com National Columnist
Sep. 30, 2010



Kick their ass, Tiger. Kick it on the golf course at the Ryder Cup, where respect and civility are paramount, but kick it nonetheless. Kick it like Florida football coach Urban Meyer would kick Georgia's ass.

There's no lack of motivation for Tiger Woods at the Ryder Cup. (Getty Images)
There's no lack of motivation for Tiger Woods at the Ryder Cup. (Getty Images)
Run up the score, and ram the gutless impertinence down the throat of that stupid little front-runner, Rory McIlroy. Make the taunting English media choke on its imperial verbal flatulence.

They can't talk about us like that.

Yeah, I said us. Make no mistake, I'm a card-carrying American homer, and enough is enough with this European nonsense. It's one thing for an American golfer like Phil Mickelson, or even an American sportswriter like me, to poke at Woods. Mickelson poked famously a few years ago at his rival's "inferior" golf equipment. While the two make nice in public, their relationship is strained to the point that Mickelson won't even pretend he would like to play with Woods this week. Asked recently about such an impossible pairing, Mickelson paused for a few seconds before finally muttering, "Um, come on."

That's fine. They're teammates, not soul mates. At the end of the day, Mickelson and Woods have the same goal, and that goal is to win the Ryder Cup for the United States.

At the end of the day, I have the same goal as well. Who am I, in this conversation? I'm nobody. I understand that. Still, it would be dishonest to pretend I'm not the knucklehead who suggested last month that Woods turn down the inevitable Ryder Cup invitation from U.S. captain Corey Pavin. Woods wasn't playing well, and even at his best he has been a mediocre Ryder Cup player. More than that, he would be a distraction -- to both teams. The Ryder Cup deserves a clean slate, I wrote. So soon after his sordid divorce, Woods' presence would sully things.

That was my idea, and it didn't stick. Pavin invited Woods and Woods accepted. Fine. The world continues to spin.

But now it's making me sick.

McIlroy already had made his silly boast about beating Woods at Woods' worst -- "I would love to face him," McIlroy said after Woods finished 78th of 80 golfers at the WGC Bridgestone in August -- but when he was asked this week about that comment, he refused to back it up. McIlroy kicked Woods when he was down in August, but now that they're sharing the same course, he doesn't have the guts to stand by his words. Bravado, I can respect. But cowardice? Cowardice, I cannot.


"I said those things the week after he'd just shot 18-over at Akron, so he wasn't playing too well!" McIlroy said Tuesday. "He's obviously getting his game together ..."

While McIlroy was looking for a skirt to hide behind, Woods was acknowledging that he had been called out. Reminded on Tuesday that McIlroy had hoped for a chance to play him, Woods immediately spat out two words:

"Me, too."

Get him, Tiger. Do to McIlroy what you did to Stephen Ames, who taunted Woods' erratic driver before they met in the 2006 Match Play Championship by noting with a wide smile, "Anything can happen -- especially where [Woods] is hitting the ball."

Woods won the first nine holes, then closed out Ames on No. 10, the fastest possible blowout in match-play golf.

It would be 18 kinds of wonderful for Woods to do that to McIlroy, and for the idiot English sportswriter who insulted Woods on Tuesday to have to watch it. This hack from the U.K. harangued Woods with a monologue: "You don't win majors anymore, you don't win regular tournaments anymore and you are about to be deposed by Europeans as the world No. 1 or by Phil Mickelson."

Then the smarmy toad got around to asking a question:

"Where is the Ryder Cup now on your agenda now that you're an ordinary golfer?"

Whoever he is, it was the same guy who asked Woods a similarly theatrical question in July.

"I remember -- you're the same one at the British Open who asked me that, too," Woods said. "I hope you're having a good week."

Not me. I hope that guy trips over his forked tongue and smashes his crooked teeth. Sportsmanlike? Not here. I'm disgusted -- by McIlroy's empty gloating and pathetic backpedaling, and by the English sportswriter's pointless pontificating.

Kick their ass, Tiger. I know I predicted last month that you would fail in Wales, but I want to be wrong. Kick their ass. If it kicks mine in the process, so be it.

[Fishhead]

Should be a fun weekend