Little Johnny Jokes

[Victor]

Who likes Little Johnny jokes? Post yours.


Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little
baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the
parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new =
baby.

Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack
to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little
Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, "Now, son...that poor baby
was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not
say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank your butt when =
we
get back home." "I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little
Johnny.

At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the
baby's hand. He looked at it's mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful =
little
baby!" The mother, who had braced herself for Johnny's comment, was
pleasantly surprised and said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He =
then
said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet.
Why...just look at his pretty little eyes... Did his doctor say he can see
good?"

The Mother said a bit bewildered,hesitantly replies "Why, yes...his doctor
said he has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a ****ING good thing, cause he sure as =
Hell can't wear glasses.



Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."

So he calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."

She says yes I know who you are.

Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt."

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost."

The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."

Johnny's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over."