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#1
09-21-2006, 01:35 AM
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New Cappersmall Top-ten List: Burning Questions
New Disclaimer:
Aright for real guys, Many of you gave me flack for the last list. This shit is meant to make us laugh. Life’s a bitch in the real world, lets have fun in here. Those I picked on a little know that I did it cause you can take it. And know this: Life is stressful. Everything I do in here in for fun, and I am rarely serious other than the capping or deep sports stuff (when it comes to $$, serious as cancer). Your all cool-ass peeps, imho.  Enjoy: TOP ELEVEN BURNING QUESTIONS AT CAPPERSMALL 2006: 1. Who is the Weirdest Poster? Guzzi: What the fu*k….Have to read this guys madness….Whhyy doez he speeel lik diss?... Always makes my laugh, but let me know when you actually decide to bet on a game, might be an interesting addition since it’s a gambling forum… Does this dude live in the Dakotas or some$hit? I thought I heard that. This dude is either really popular…or really, really fu*king lonely….This is your brain on drugs…Either way Guzzi commands attention, is funny as hell, has no peers at CM and most certainly has created his own genre and following….Would love, I mean love to do shots with this guy, but dead bodies in the basement would not surprise me…Something tells me this dude lives with a lot of cats… 2. Who are Underrated Handicappers? Rome turned me on to this dude. KnockonWood!!! Always writes like this!!! Real cool dude!!! Can Cap his ass off!!! Always encourages!!! No self hype (except for the “If you bet $100 and followed me youd be ****ing rich right now- bragging stuff- but I like it). Downfall: Likes the Wolfpack, who are good in what sport exactly? Has kind of a fresh name. How about Jahred? Yes, this guy would bet on which lump of a sugar a fly would land on, but when he makes it big play, he’s seems money. I guess when you rely on gaming to supply a $250 weekly chronic habit, you take the shit serious. How about Skippy? Ive been hard on my man, so Ill give him some props for a dude that plays a buck a game. 3. Who Is The Biggest Homer Without Cause??: Domafia: I know, I know, your saying “JB, isn’t Dom from Cleveland?” Then you scratch your head and try to figure out how anyone could be proud of a town whose waterways are so sewage ridden that they arbitrarily set on fire….This city hasn’t won a major sporting event since Judge was a teenager…Dom once called this trade - a mid round draft pick for Lee Suggs- “Brilliant”….Cleveland is the hotbed of college sports: Hey Dom, hows that Cleveland State. non-conference schedule this year?... The ever popular Jaypasco runs a close second here. Basking in the glory of living in the home state of the NFC champs, Jay pay puts out lists every week that put a Seahawks or Seahawks player on top every week. This is not the impartiality we expect from a NFL insider who writes for weekly NFL periodicals. 4. Are any of the “Dr’s” at CM actually Doctors?: Jesus, we got “Dr.” Jack, “Dr.” BB, “Dr.” T, “Dr:. Gonzo., "Dr". Peapody. Dennis Leary once told Dr. Dre, “My brother went to school for school for like 8 years, got $100,000 in student loans, studied for boards for six months and works 12 hours shifts so he could be called ‘Doctor’…and you just wanna wake up one day and decide, f*ck it, im gonna be a doctor.” I mean really, Jack’s not a doctor…not an MD, Phd, no juris doctorate, not Doc Holliday, nada. Yet he feels its cool to call himself Dr... So we all fall in line?... If any of you are actual Dr.’s, please let us know… Just because most of the Mall is under 25 and has less than 4 months of college education doesn’t mean you can trick us all... Someone needs to start a thread in main street with some medical questions and see if any of these “Dr.’s” can answer it without looking it up on google... Maybe Dr. BB is one, but I don’t know. Speaking of Dr. BB, we’re all set with grainy the picture of you in your hallway my man. This isn’t e-harmony, only like 6 girls in the whole forum. 5. How many of you guys actually get,usually get, got or are regularly getting p*ssy? My guess is less than 20%. Sorry guys, the net is no place for men with options, let’s face it. Much less a degenerate forum where 80% of the people don’t even talk, just look at others plays. Weird-ass lurkers, makes me feel like I’m getting stalked. My guess is most of you have the ever-popular “girl out of state” or “I don’t have time for women right now” type shit going on. Others probably have a girlfriend….but you haven’t let her in on this piece of information yet (usually works better when BOTH people know they are dating). Dollars to doughnuts that many of you guys are wiping down those keyboards at the end of the night. 6. When did Dr. Jack become the biggest shill in internet gaming? Jack, hath we no pride? This guy was the bastion of morality, allowing no touts, site links, propaganda, advertising or anything (MVP notwithstanding). Then BOS goes down, and this site has more sponsors than a bowl game. Jack went from a one trick pony to whoring more than Lindsay Lohan on a three day weekend. Please tell us about one of your 39 “top-rated” sportbooks Jack. Its hard to find any threads with plays in them after wading through the “great contests” stickys. This guy has given out more “A+’s” than a kindergarten teacher. The plastered banners and advertising makes the home page look like a Double A outfield wall (I even laughed out loud when I thought of that one). I told my dried up 74-year old ex-vegas local bookie that for the right price CM would give him a banner and a B+ rating. 7.Does Anyone Sound More Stupid Than Losing CM Gamblers? Holy smokes. You guys cry “fix” more than a heroin junkie on the first of the month. Yes, we know Terps and TDS/Joe D led the crowd during the NBA season. But Im gonna let these two slide, because at least they are consistent and don’t arbitrarily pick times to scream fix (however, I gotta get on Joe D, when it gets suggested that he cannot prove fixing, responds with the always-logical “You can’t prove its not!)”. O.K., the rest of you. I cannot describe how much of an degenerate-idiotic-illogical-nonsensical fool you sound like when you act like your amazed that you lost a bet by a point. Guess what morons? Sometimes when the Bears are laying 3 points to the Lions and they decide to take a knee when up by 2, its not to purposely f*ck you out of your $25 three team parlay at BetCris. For the love of god, there are hundreds, if not thousands of games to bet on every week. The guys who set the lines for them do it for a living. And I know this may sound weird to you, but once in every 20 games, they get it right! Yes, the Broncos can be favored by 7 and by golly, win by a touchdown!! Who wudda thun??.Yes, its has happened- a 19 year old college freshman can actually miss free throws with under a minute left to play. Nothing screams “Im a degenerate!” like posting threads crying about point shaving. No loser, no one is listening when you scream fix after a losing a 5 teamer. When he didn’t win his 5th tourney in a row, your convinced that Tiger Woods “was on the take.” Grow up Gentleman. You must have something better to do than spend over an hour a day on gambling sites that have forums…ok, never mind that part. Just know you gotta take a tough loss once in a while. 8. What is the Played Out Shit at CM? Filler here, I’ll be quick: Game of the years, months, weeks, day, night, seasons, ect….Jaypa’s spelling…Telling Seanie Mac he’s trying to act black…100 dime plays...Top 10 lists…Top 10 lists copiers…Pittvipers ghosts…Guys telling female cappers “good luck”…Big Pimpin and Romanowski (had to get you homeboys)….Slow servers….Canadians talking shit about U.S….Political Mall…editing swears…changing records…copying posters plays at other forums… 9. Where is Blackbeard Pimp? BBP, or better yet, Who is he? He’s ban banned (classy way to go out there BBP), but we know he’s amongst us. Face it he cant stay away. Cappers Mall is the party boat and hes on the Vikings. He’s Wade Boggs and CM is the chicken. He’s Jaypa and CM is an Arby’s drive through. You get my point. He can’t just be gone like that. Christ, he posts in 7 forums daily, most of you know that. But CM was his baby. Who are you BBP? Seanie has dropped hints, there may be a few of them (you?) rolling around. Actually rumor has it that Jack’s membership dropped 157 members when his IP address got fire-walled… You just know this guy is posted up at a FedEx Kinkos computer somewhere reading this right now…..we feel you BBP. Talk to us. Come out the closet. Who you like on the game tonight big fella ?(let me guess- Georgia Tech…HUGE!!). Little off topic, but when you have pimp in your name, isn’t a sign you got little dick-issues (BP, BBP, ect…) 10. The Judge v. Big DaddQH: Who Wins?? We do!! No one seemed real happy when this BDQH dude came back around, the least of which is The Judge. Judge is like a heat seeking missile and BDHQ has a tracking device attached to his ass. When he posts, Judge is quick to find him and tell him why he’s wrong. My good friends at CM, you cant pay for entertainment like this shit, and we get it here for free!! Some classic random highlights from their various battles: Judge: “This is probably one of the most ignorant remarks that we have heard from you to date, and that is saying a lot….. We have heard more whining from you in the past two weeks than we have heard from NOW in the past two years so stuff a sock in it, Pops….Not sure why you have decided that being an asshole is in your best interest….Not much relevance to this particular match-up in my opinion, but thank you Marc Lawrence, for chiming in.” BDQH: “Apparently you do not know much about gambling in general or you would know this rule… As far as Steele's arrest information, you are a "Judge". You should know how to obtain the record. …… And I do not appreciate you joking around about the North Hollywood Shootout. That was a very serious matter to a lot of us. Don't do it again boy. You have been warned…Since you claim to know so much, meet me in Vegas in October. Let me introduce you to some people who actually know something about football, not just try to sell themselves as a know-it-all who passes judgment on others. In other words, get your butt to Vegas, or be prepared to answer my questions. After all, you are the great judge”. Maybe these two hate each other because they are both battling to be the oldest poster at CM. Or maybe it’s the juvenile USC v. Texas thing. These two even argue over Phil Steele’s credibility, like anyone else gives a flying fuc*. Either way, don’t stop gentleman, you entertaining us all and a Vegas in showdown between you two could be a Pay Per View event (ok, maybe a ESPN reaity show). And lastly…at number 11: WHAT IS AN ECOTOURIST?? (I looked it up and found “48 year-old white men from the south who go to foreign countries to bang young Latin girls…) Laugh now, make money later boys. 
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I'd rather be a free man in my grave than living like a puppet or a slave- Jimmy Cliff Last edited by jonnyblaze; 09-21-2006 at 01:37 AM. 
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#2
09-21-2006, 02:42 AM
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Good Stuff Sir
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#3
09-21-2006, 03:56 AM
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Blazer...lumping me in with your tirade about BBP was completely unacceptable. I have reported this post
asshole
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Violence rules the day....... Dead Souls----they keep calling me My mind is playing tricks on me 
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#4
09-21-2006, 06:21 AM
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Quote:
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#5
09-21-2006, 07:04 AM
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Yeah, why the hell does guzzi talk like that?
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2012 Totals (Began tracking on 4/1) '12 NFL Leg Drops Record: Units: 5 Leg Drops: '12 MLB Leg Drops Record: 37-24 Units: +29 5 Leg Drops: 2-0 +10 NBA '12 Record: 9-5-1 Units: +11.9 5 Leg Drops: 1-0 +5 NHL '12 Record: 2-2 Units: -.7 5 Leg Drops: NCAA Hoops '12 Record: Units: 5 Leg Drops: 2012 Total Units: +40.2 2010 March Madness Tourney Champion!
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#6
09-21-2006, 07:05 AM
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blaze outstanding list !!!
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The GOOD: VOLS The BAD : BAMA The UGLY: GATORS/GAMECOCKS
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#7
09-21-2006, 07:46 AM
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guzzi iss from minnesota and luvs eet win u can heer da win blown et soldier field cuz bearz loosin
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The only bridge I've ever burned along this legacy I dance is the one that linked the cities of prosperity and chance Check out Technicapping for quantitative sport analysis
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#8
09-21-2006, 07:52 AM
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quality work jb
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NCAA TOURNEYS--> 1* = $100 "Money won is twice as sweet as money earned." ---Paul Newman from The Color of Money CM 2007 and 2009 Capper of the Year
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#9
09-21-2006, 08:17 AM
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 Blaze!
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Posted Record for Current Season MLB 2012: 58-58-4 (-1.77) 2009 Cappersmall HOF Inductee
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#10
09-21-2006, 08:26 AM
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Well done, JB.
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Pura Vida!
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#11
09-21-2006, 08:31 AM
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 Funny post made my day though I must say Guzzi is my nuzzi, buzzi fa shuzzi
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#12
09-21-2006, 08:32 AM
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JB: BetJamaica is as solid as they come. Top notch book here.
http://www.betjm.com/default.aspx?ZID=N577 Also can't go wrong with the Greek http://www.thegreek.com/dw/sportsbook.asp?ap=A94193 I would put my medical liscense on the line with these 2 books
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Jack
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#13
09-21-2006, 08:44 AM
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Quote:
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R.I.P Rambler Buddy (7/20/1947- 4/20/2006)
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#14
09-21-2006, 08:52 AM
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Quote:
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R.I.P Rambler Buddy (7/20/1947- 4/20/2006)
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#15
09-21-2006, 09:00 AM
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Quote:
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Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"! Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal? Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright?
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