NFL Underdogs: Week 13

[verdict]

By Brian Covert
Wed, Nov 29, 2006

Online shopping is not a good thing; it’s just a recipe for trouble.

Take last Sunday when I hopped online to do some early Christmas shopping following the Pittsburgh Steelers-Baltimore Ravens game.

There I was, surfing the web with credit card in hand when I came upon the site fathead.com, you know that site that sells the life-size stickers of pro athletes that is advertised on all the sports networks.

Well imagine my blood pressure when the first player that comes up on the screen is Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, the very same quarterback that just cost me two units when he committed two fumbles and threw two picks in Pittsburgh’s 27-0 walloping at the hands of the Ravens.

In a spell of unprecedented rage, I immediately went to the check-out, paying $149 for a 6-foot-5 poster of Big Ben with the full intention of burning it in effigy on my front lawn as soon as it arrived in the mail, which it did two days later.

So there I am Tuesday evening, up in a tree after work, trying to rig this monstrosity up so I can immediately burn it down. But wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I get it up and begin lighting the foot, the police show up.

“What the hell are you doing?" he asks.

“Burning this stupid poster of this stupid quarterback,” I snap back.

“You know that is illegal,” he starts, but I’m not hearing him as I continue trying to set the thing ablaze.

Before you know it, I’m cuffed facedown on the hood and the guy is reading me my rights. Then my girlfriend pulls into the driveway with her mother and they’re both staring at me with a look of “what have done now you idiot” on each of their faces. But of course I’m not seeing them because I’m trying to avoid the glares from my all of my neighbors who have gathered at their windows to see the commotion.

Anyways, to make a long story short I didn’t get taken downtown but the cop served me with a $350 bylaw ticket and I’m still sleeping on the couch at night.

But the worse thing of it is that Big Ben fathead never got burned and as punishment, my girlfriend made me hang it up in the basement right next to the TV, so every Sunday I will now have to sit there and have Roethlisberger mock me.

Minnesota Vikings at Chicago Bears -Vikings +9 ½ points

Right now I trust Rex Grossman about as much as I’d trust Ted Washington at an all you can eat buffet.

The Chicago Bears quarterback has turned the ball over 16 times (11 interceptions and five fumbles, including four last week versus the Patriots) over his last six games and now the Bears welcome a Minnesota Vikings team that is the best in the league against the run, which puts even more pressure on Grossman and his wild arm.

And I don’t know about you, but if Grossman can’t get the offense on track, I do not trust the Bears defense to make up two scores against a pretty conservative Vikings offense that does a better-than-average job of protecting the ball.

San Diego Chargers at Buffalo Bills - +6 points

Philip Rivers has lived a pretty charmed life.

First he grew up in Alabama, enjoying his time as a high school quarterback before moving on to the breezy east coast where he was a four-year starter at North Carolina State. Then, to top it all off, he gets drafted by the San Diego Chargers and gets to play his professional football in beautiful Southern California.

Honestly, it’s enough to make me sick.

But of course, with all the good there is going to be some bad and a trip to Buffalo where the forecast is calling for temperatures around the freezing mark with snow showers probably counts as pretty bad.

Especially when you’re facing a Buffalo Bills team that has covered four games in a row, winning three of those games straight up.

Indianapolis at Tennessee – Titans +7 ½ points

Vince Young is a player.

Forget about the suspect Wonderlic test and the questions about his mechanics; the man can flat out play the game of football.

Better yet, he has given the Tennessee Titans confidence after last week’s come-from-behind 24-21 win over the New York Giants.

That should serve them well against an Indianapolis Colts team that still can’t stop the run (they are allowing 154.5 yards per game) and almost lost to the Titans at home in Week 5, winning 14-13 as 17-point favorites.

[Dr. Jack]

I don't know. All 3 of them dogs might be nice but I can also see all 3 being blown out. I personally will probably stay away from them 3