Patriots Game, heres that story I promised you

ILikeToParty · #1 01-06-2012, 10:59 PM

Patriots game, heres that Miami mugging story Ive promised you for months finally, enjoy lol

So in the year 2000 I took a 7 or 8 night trip to Florida, the first few days I spent in Fort Myers, the next few in Miami, and then the final few watching my dad drag race in Gainseville. Back then I was a totally out of control partyer, used to drink beer and smoke dope and hang out in tittie bars and bang chicks and prostitutes constantly. My trucking business was ****ing rolling at the time and I had like 70k in the bank and was making like 2k/week with no bills so I was just raging. Ahh if I could make just half that nowadays lol the good ole days.

Anyways, this was my first nite in Miami. I went looking for hotel rooms at "south beach" and the friggen rooms were like $300/nite so I decided to get a shitty room at some best western literally like right across the street from the American Airlines arena. So about 8pm I hit south beach to party. Now Im all alone just going from bar to bar raging trying to pick up on chicks knowing full well if I dont find anyone Im just gonna call an escort when I went back to the room. I could never bang some of the trash now I did back then but back then I just didnt fukn care and honestly I didnt even bang 95% of the prostitutes, just had them blow me.

So about 1 or 2am I head back to the room alone to go call a escort. I call an escort service and they say they'll be there in 30 min. Like 90 min later Im just like wtf as noone has showed. Well the hotel was in a BAD area so I just decided Id have no problem going and finding a streetwalker to get a hummer, yeah thats how out of control, foolish, and dumb I was lolololol

This was maybe the craziest nite of my life. So im driving a red pontiac grand am rental car, actually a pretty nice car and my white ass in scummy ghetto Miami I might as well have been drivin a porsche as much as I stuck out. SO I end up going to a liquor store and buying some beer and on my way out this black (homeless maybe) midget, yes a midget, starts hitting me up for money. I tell him, "find me a whore to suck my cawk and I'll give you $20" and he of course agrees and hops in the passenger seat of my car and we set off. So he convinces me first to go buy him some crack, we go to some apt complex and he runs in and gets like a $10 bag of crack and comes back out. So hes smoking this shit and he takes me to this street where there is literally like 20 prostitutes just walking up and down the street. We pick one up, go to some deserted parking lot and he waits outside the car while she blows me. We go and drop her off and head back to drop him off.

Heres where the hilarity and my stupidity kicks in. On the way back I decide I need another blow job, one from a chick this time that will swallow. GOd im shaking my head just thinking about how dumb this was but whatever. So he tells me he knows this white chick that swallows but we have to drive like 5 miles to her place. So were driving down these roads and I swear these areas were the worst fuggin parts of town I have ever seen in my life. I have been all over the country with my dads race team, work in awful parts of L.A. all the time and I have never ever seen a more ghetto scary atmoshphere than these streets we were driving down and this fuggin guy knew EVERYBODY. His nickname was "Too Short" and he was hanging out the window waving at it seemed like everyone walking down the street. At the time I thought it was awesome lol

So anyways we pull up out in front of this apt complex that I thnk was actually shut down, or condemned or whatever, there were boards over half the windows, no lights, nothing. He tells me to wait across the street and he'll go get the chick. Heres where it gets weird and crazt. So Im sitting there drinking a beer looking across the street and I see like 3 dudes standing over in the dark, then I look and see a few more dudes, then all of a sudden like my vision adjusted or something and there was like 20 people standing in different spots in front of this place all hanging out. I dont know if they were hiding when I pulled up or I just didnt see them or what but it was really strange. So my dumb ass has a $1000 movado watch on my left arm and Im resting my arm on the window just showing the whole world. This tall lanky black guy comes rolling up to the car, "yo man whats up whatcha doin"

I reply, "justy waitin for my buddy Too Short"

"Yo man can I get a beer"

Im like yeah sure and hand him a beer, hopin this will buy me time and make me "cool." This guy drank this beer in like 20 seconds lol and asks for another and I give him another. A few min go by and here comes Too Short out with some 50 yr old white trash skank and she gets in. SO Too SHort tells me he's gonna stay there and Im getting ready to leave and the other guy asks for one more beer.

I say "sorry bro I already gave you two and I dont have much more"

Right when I say that he grabs my wrist where my watch is and starts trying to pull me out and the watch off. So i wrap both my hands around his and he cant get me out but I cant get him off me either. Im yellin, "too short get this guy off me wtf getthis guy off me" and of course he aint doin shit. SO my car is in park and both my arms are on his and I cant throw it in gear, I remember hearing the engine rev from me just gassing it even tho it was in park.

So I really dont know what it was, I dont know if I saw another guy coming off the curb across the street or what but all of a sudden my mind told, "screw your watch and even screw your arm, you need to get the hell outta here NOW" and I let go and threw it in reverse as he's halfway pullin me out the car. I gas it in reverse and the top of the window/car breaks our arms apart and I still got my watch. I threw it in drive and as Im driving away he kicks the side of my car.

HOLY SHIT!!!!!! Im thinking wtf just happened. I'll never forget Im just screaming and yelling, now remember the whore is in the passenger side. I get a mile or two away and finally calm down and she says , "Yeah . . . . . . . . . I hate it when they do that"

Hate it when they do that????? WTF!!!!! Theyre like always tryin to mug her johns or what??? Just fuggin insanity

So my dumb ass still takes her back to room and let her blow me and that was when I smoked crack for the first time in my life (ive only done it like 5 times and never will again but its just funny THAT was the time I decided to try it for the first time). Also lol when I rolled thru the hotel lobby with her as soon as the manager saw her he's like "no no no she not allowed here" lolololol. Well I was plenty worked up and just yelled right back at him and told him to get fukd. So after were done I told her obv there was no way I was taking her back and sent her off in a cab.

So its all over, I go back to my room, lie down in bed and Im just lying there thinking about all the stuff that had just happened, I mean it was literally unfuknbelievable. Then I hear a knock on my door, Im like oh shit the cops? the manager? The whore? The muggers?

I open the door and theres the god damn escort I had called hours earlier. I just burst out laughing. I mean really just unreal!!!!!! SO I of course let her in and had her blow me as well. the funny part was too I lived in Arcadia, CA at the time and her name was Arcadia. It was just the wildest twist of fate and events I couldnt have imagined if I tried.

So after she left that was it. The one thing I remembered after the fact was, when I was riving with too short thru all those streets and he was waving at everyone the people would look at him, then look at me, and look back at him and give him smile and like a thumbs up like "yeahhhhhhhh." At the time my ass thought "oh they see he's partying with me and they like it" but no, they saw he had a sucker on the line and at some point they were gonna jack my ass. When I think about that its just crazy, he was settin me up the whole nite to jack me at some point, just crazy crazy stuff

Ive told lots of people this story over the years and half either think its a lie or at least somewhat embellished but every single thing this night 100% happened. The story makes me look like a fool, if I was gonna make something up Id say I banged 5 hot strippers or something, not smoking crack with nasty whores lol but the sequence of events is so fuggin crazy I dont blame people.

I'll read thru this after I post it and see if I missed anything but thats pretty much it. Sorry it took me so long to post it

Tiny tim · #2 01-06-2012, 11:09 PM

What happened to the trucking business and the cash you had? sounds like you were doing well?

ILikeToParty · #3 01-06-2012, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiny tim

What happened to the trucking business and the cash you had? sounds like you were doing well?

I still own three dumptrucks and am involved, its just the trucking industry has severely gone in the shitter the last five years due to first gas prices and now the economy. I literally profit about 30% as much as I did ten years ago, its pretty depressing but it also could be a lot worse. Plus now I have a house payment and am a single father. Add all that up and theres just not much extra money nowadays lol. It'll come back around someday, just gotta wait it out