So I just found out that I have a 9 month old son...

[Quiksilver]

...and to be honest I don't know how I feel about it. It's not 100% confirmed but I saw a picture of him and he kinda looks like me in my baby pictures.

I really don't know how I feel about this (I'm not married and no other kids). The mother is a girl I had a one night stand with in South America. To be fair, she did tell me that she was pregnant but that she wasn't sure who the father is. We had a about a week long fling my first time I was there and then when I returned a scond time about a year and half ago she was living with another guy but told me that it wasn't romantic so we got together one night.

This girl is a liar and when she told me she actually had the audacity to tell the other guy that it was def his so it's not like I can take her word for it. The cynic in me is telling me that she just wants a free handout and/or a green card. I wasn't planning on going back there anytime in the next few months so a paternity test is out of the question. According to her one minute it's mine, the next minute it isn't. When she gave birth she sent me an email telling me that it isn't mine and i thought that that was it. Then about 6 months ago she sent me an email just telling me that things between her and the other guy were rocky and that the baby was having some complications. Confused, I sent her well wishes and asked her what it was that she wanted seeing how she had told me it wasn't mine. She responded with "nothing" and I never responded or heard from her again until last night when she sent me birthday wishes and a picture of the baby. She didn't say it was mine or anything but then why put a picture of him?

I couldn't sleep last night and I don't know what to do. I have a gf in the same country as her and she is someone that I def want to have a long term future with. I don't know if I should tell her now about the possibility, wait until its confirmed, or what. If it is mine what kind of relationship can I have with him being here and him being there?

Anyone have experience with something like this? What did you do? So many questions but the one thing I've decided I don't want is to look back in 20 years and say that I didn't at least try to do the right thing.

What a way to spend a birthday...

[seano1]

Originally Posted by Quiksilver

...and to be honest I don't know how I feel about it. It's not 100% confirmed but I saw a picture of him and he kinda looks like me in my baby pictures.

I really don't know how I feel about this (I'm not married and no other kids). The mother is a girl I had a one night stand with in South America. To be fair, she did tell me that she was pregnant but that she wasn't sure who the father is. We had a about a week long fling my first time I was there and then when I returned a scond time about a year and half ago she was living with another guy but told me that it wasn't romantic so we got together one night.

This girl is a liar and when she told me she actually had the audacity to tell the other guy that it was def his so it's not like I can take her word for it. The cynic in me is telling me that she just wants a free handout and/or a green card. I wasn't planning on going back there anytime in the next few months so a paternity test is out of the question. According to her one minute it's mine, the next minute it isn't. When she gave birth she sent me an email telling me that it isn't mine and i thought that that was it. Then about 6 months ago she sent me an email just telling me that things between her and the other guy were rocky and that the baby was having some complications. Confused, I sent her well wishes and asked her what it was that she wanted seeing how she had told me it wasn't mine. She responded with "nothing" and I never responded or heard from her again until last night when she sent me birthday wishes and a picture of the baby. She didn't say it was mine or anything but then why put a picture of him?

I couldn't sleep last night and I don't know what to do. I have a gf in the same country as her and she is someone that I def want to have a long term future with. I don't know if I should tell her now about the possibility, wait until its confirmed, or what. If it is mine what kind of relationship can I have with him being here and him being there?

Anyone have experience with something like this? What did you do? So many questions but the one thing I've decided I don't want is to look back in 20 years and say that I didn't at least try to do the right thing.

What a way to spend a birthday...

First off DNA test...spend the money

[dave nz]

Originally Posted by seano1

First off DNA test...spend the money

Yep agree

[Steel]

Quick, first things first. If I was you I would get a paternity test. If you then find out its yours I would then share it with the family. Reason for the test is to stop the guessing game. If it is yours I hope you step up and take responsibility of a parent. As far as your significant other she will understand if she is a good person. Remember that the child needs the support of a mother and a father. Happy Birthday to you. The best thing I did in my life is have a child. I wish the best.

[sappapy]

Originally Posted by Steel

Quick, first things first. If I was you I would get a paternity test. If you then find out its yours I would then share it with the family. Reason for the test is to stop the guessing game. If it is yours I hope you step up and take responsibility of a parent. As far as your significant other she will understand if she is a good person. Remember that the child needs the support of a mother and a father. Happy Birthday to you. The best thing I did in my life is have a child. I wish the best.

Agree 100 percent

[be47320]

my worst nightmare

[Boris Karloff]

Not sure which one but heard a few times that some tests only prove if it's not yours...not that it is yours--kinda contradictory.

[Quiksilver]

Thanks for the input so far guys and I agree...getting the DNA test should be the first thing I do. I had somewhat of a similar experience years ago when a girl said I knocked her up and wanted me to pay for an abortion (which I did) only for me to find out that she totally played me. Maybe that's the reason (plus all the horror stories that I'm sure we've all heard) why I'm kinda cynical about this kinda stuff.

Since I wrote that post I've been on the internet and calling various places I came across about doing a DNA test. To my surprise, its not as difficult as I would have thought and can be done without me needing to go there.

As far as stepping up and doing the right thing I'd like to think that that's what I'm doing right now. When this girl told me she was pregnant for the first time totally believed her and offered to marry her for the sake of the child. It was only after she refused that I became a bit suspicious. But in the event that this is my son I don't think I could ever sleep well again knowing that I didn't do something for him. You hear about these stories about parents who gave up their child to adoption or whatever...they all said that they always felt a piece of them was missing through out the years. I don't want that to be me in another 20 years...

I don't know if it's right but right now I can't help but feel an INCREDIBLE amount of anger and hate towards this girl.

[Patriots Game]

Trust when I say this. The hate and anger will never go away. DO NOT let it seep into you feelings for the child.

[Bozzie]

I had the same thing happen to me on a long weekend in dallas...about a year later I got a call about a baby...spent 560 bucks for the test..the best money I've ever spent.

[grzftbl]

Maury Show.

[Big Pimpin]

get an AIDs test also.....1st mistake was banging any south american whore without at least 6 condoms on.....


wtf were you thinking....amazed your dick hasnt fallen off yet

[Patriots Game]

Actually. Have to agree with big pimpin on this. WTF were you thinking? I don't care drunk you were. If she tricked you into going gloveless, that should be your 1st clue.

[be47320]

thats why bp only bangs tranny prostitutes no chance of them getting prego

[Gobbler's Knob]

I woke up this morning and I have a 34 year old wife....How the fuk did that happen