Started new job and freaking out...

[thinkingdog]

Hey all,

After 17 years with one company I've moved onto another career (due to impending restructuring) and in my first few days I've found that I'm having panic and anxiety attacks at home and sleepless nights because of the fact that I have no idea of what to expect in the future and no idea of what I'm doing.

The training has started and I'm starting to get some basic skills, but man, that first day or so I was feeling like the dumbest dumbass in the history of the world. Don't know anyone and don't know anything.

Felt like I was back in junior high, going into a new school, and being the new kid. I actually broke down in front of my wife after the first day because I thought I'd made a huge mistake leaving my old company and starting anew at the age of 40 with a wife and two kids to support.

Anyone with some advice or stories to share. Holy crap, I've been freaking out the past few days...

[Patriots Game]

This may not be good advice. I left a company after a long tenure that I knew inside and out. After the first week at the new job, I knew I made a misake. As you can't go back, I realize I had to make the best of it and NOT LOOK BACK. I didn't follow my own advice and paid for it. Focus on what you have to do with no regrets. Learn and understand asap. Ask questions and get up to speed asap to the point where you can be the man you normally are (as you were in your past job)

[Gobbler's Knob]

I have to start over after 15 years at one place, I know how you feel man with 2 young kids and basically 0 work in my city it is stressful. My wife makes ok money and we can survive on one pay for awhile but it occupies my mind 99% of the time. Be strong and realize it always gets better after you get more comfortable just keep chugging along and you'll get there bro

[thinkingdog]

Originally Posted by Patriots Game

This may not be good advice. I left a company after a long tenure that I knew inside and out. After the first week at the new job, I knew I made a misake. As you can't go back, I realize I had to make the best of it and NOT LOOK BACK. I didn't follow my own advice and paid for it. Focus on what you have to do with no regrets. Learn and understand asap. Ask questions and get up to speed asap to the point where you can be the man you normally are (as you were in your past job)

Yeah, can't go back...days were numbered there plus the management was getting to be ridiculous with threats and abuse. Ironically, moving onto this new company was something that I HAD to do...better upside potential, stability, and benefits. But man, the fact that I was a big man at my old job makes it hard to swallow now that I'm basically low man on the totem pole now.

I think learning and understanding as much as I can is strong advice though. More time and training will get me feeling more comfortable. It's just now that I'm feeling like I'm reeling...

[thinkingdog]

Originally Posted by Gobbler's Knob

I have to start over after 15 years at one place, I know how you feel man with 2 young kids and basically 0 work in my city it is stressful. My wife makes ok money and we can survive on one pay for awhile but it occupies my mind 99% of the time. Be strong and realize it always gets better after you get more comfortable just keep chugging along and you'll get there bro

I hear you, GK. My girls are the same age as yours (2 and 5), but my wife stays at home (something we had decided when we talked about marriage and kids). No regrets there, as I wanted my children to have a mom around all the time instead of my upbringing where I was a latchkey kid with both of my parents working 12 hours days in their own business. But of course that means that the buck stops with me, and I AM the breadwinner.

'Be strong' is something I try to do, GK, but geez, there are some moments in the past few days like it would be better off to just pack it in (literally)...don't worry, I've had no serious thoughts about that. Depression has been an unwanted guest in my headspace the past few months (during the time that my old career was collapsing and me desperately trying to secure a new job). I have my good days and bad...

[Gobbler's Knob]

Originally Posted by thinkingdog

I hear you, GK. My girls are the same age as yours (2 and 5), but my wife stays at home (something we had decided when we talked about marriage and kids). No regrets there, as I wanted my children to have a mom around all the time instead of my upbringing where I was a latchkey kid with both of my parents working 12 hours days in their own business. But of course that means that the buck stops with me, and I AM the breadwinner.

'Be strong' is something I try to do, GK, but geez, there are some moments in the past few days like it would be better off to just pack it in (literally)...don't worry, I've had no serious thoughts about that. Depression has been an unwanted guest in my headspace the past few months (during the time that my old career was collapsing and me desperately trying to secure a new job). I have my good days and bad...

I hear ya for sure. What amazes me when you're down is how little help and support you get. It's like you have an infectious disease, people tend to run the other way. What matters is your wife and your kids cause really the rest don't matter. I actually have people that owe me money who are doing well but they just don't give a fuk, they think it's a big joke. Talked to a friend the other day who I hadn't talked to in awhile and all he did was complain about money and how tight things are, meanwhile him and his wife both work and do VERY well. Some people are fuking clueless Stay the course man things will get better

[thinkingdog]

Originally Posted by Gobbler's Knob

I hear ya for sure. What amazes me when you're down is how little help and support you get. It's like you have an infectious disease, people tend to run the other way. What matters is your wife and your kids cause really the rest don't matter. I actually have people that owe me money who are doing well but they just don't give a fuk, they think it's a big joke. Talked to a friend the other day who I hadn't talked to in awhile and all he did was complain about money and how tight things are, meanwhile him and his wife both work and do VERY well. Some people are fuking clueless Stay the course man things will get better

Thanks man. It is amazing that it seems like when you're down and out that some people just want to avoid the whole subject...too sensitive or something? Anyhow, I am focusing on my family because you're right they are my number one priority.

As to people who don't give a flying crap about your situation - well, I think it's more a matter of them just paying complete attention to their own world...self absorption is something we're all guilty of, but some people are narcissistic to the point of ridiculousness.

Anyhow, I'll keep chugging along because, well, I have to. There is no other way. Things will get better but it's hard to see that when you're currently stuck in a muck of despair.

Hope things start to pan out for you quickly. Being in one job/role for 15 years is something I can completely relate to. Changing that role is a scary thing.

Anyhow, thanks for your advice and understanding/empathy!

[WildKat]

I was like this for about the last 8 months...I was doing well, but I still didnt understand things about the job that I knew that I should know...It was all due to lack of training..It was a new location and nobody at our location had any clue what to do..I would try to seek help, but every time there was something that deverted me from learning what I needed to do...I would sleep just enough to survive...I recently hired a receptionist that basically took over and found out everything for her...I have now slept at least 6 hour the last 3 nights and the pressure is off of me.....

[Gobbler's Knob]

Originally Posted by WildKat

I was like this for about the last 8 months...I was doing well, but I still didnt understand things about the job that I knew that I should know...It was all due to lack of training..It was a new location and nobody at our location had any clue what to do..I would try to seek help, but every time there was something that deverted me from learning what I needed to do...I would sleep just enough to survive...I recently hired a receptionist that basically took over and found out everything for her...I have now slept at least 6 hour the last 3 nights and the pressure is off of me.....

Good news

[thinkingdog]

Had a bad day today...been on the job for 1.5 weeks and have only had two positive days. Today was one of great frustration...sadness...depression. I feel so stupid and incompetent. I'm a perfectionist by nature and so this feeling of inadequacy is really making me feel brutal. My trainer believes that I'm being unrealistic in my expectations for myself...that I'm being too hard and unforgiving. She's right. But I can't seem to shake that feeling...I'm at quite a low point right now. Having a cranky two-year-old who has a habit of crying out in the middle of the night doesn't help...plus my 70-year-old Dad might have issues with his prostate (his brother has prostate cancer)...feeling very negative and pessimistic...

On a side note, my work schedule makes it very difficult to follow sports throughout the day...that was one of my loves, coming on to CM, seeing opinions and comments, comparing picks...can't even do that anymore. Sad.

[Patriots Game]

Dude. Focus on what brings you joy first. Then in doubt, refocus on what gives you joy. Apply these calming techniques to your daily struggles. You will need 3 mths to get accustomed to this role. Hang in there and breathe. Don't go into work thinking you will fail. Go in thinking what you can achieve each day. Piece by piece.

[cman]

It might help to know some details of your position.

Job description and so forth

There are some jobs that education alone cannot prepare you.


Good luck in your new endeavor...I like the advice of grasping your new job with passion

wde

[thinkingdog]

Originally Posted by cman

It might help to know some details of your position.

Job description and so forth

There are some jobs that education alone cannot prepare you.


Good luck in your new endeavor...I like the advice of grasping your new job with passion

wde

Working as a Business Insurance underwriter. I have a business degree and a general understanding of insurance already having worked in life underwriting for 17 years. Property and Casualty for commercial lines is a whole other animal.

I'm in computer systems training right now as well as learning the intricacies of all of the fricken industry codes and types of endorsements, exclusions, legal wordings ... it's just insanity. I'm losing it.

[thinkingdog]

Originally Posted by Patriots Game

Dude. Focus on what brings you joy first. Then in doubt, refocus on what gives you joy. Apply these calming techniques to your daily struggles. You will need 3 mths to get accustomed to this role. Hang in there and breathe. Don't go into work thinking you will fail. Go in thinking what you can achieve each day. Piece by piece.

I read this over again today. This is what I've been trying to do. You're right...I've got to think positively. I'm struggling, but I appreciate this advice, PG. Thanks.

[Steel]

Change is good and it will make you a better person in the end. I hope it works out for you and remember that change is what you make it. Go in there like you have been doing the job for years. Best of luck