Stupiest Thief Award Winner

[Randle Pat McMurphy]

1. Idiot steals someone's state-issued electronic benefit transfer (EBT/welfare) card

2. She walks into the Lynn Stop & Shop and uses the stolen card to buy $64 worth of soda -- 18 12 packs of cans

3. Idiot immediately took the cans to the store’s digital can return machine and attempted to deposit them without emptying them.

4. Brilliant plan, steal the card, buy $64 of soda, make about $3-$4 by returning the cans.

5. Stupidity continues as employee observed the whole scheme on store camera and called police, police come while she is still feeding cans into the machine, thief gives police 2 fake names and 2 fake SS #'s

6. Idiot is arrested, real identity established at the police office, she was formally charged with larceny under $250 by false pretense, destruction of property over $250, obstruction of justice and receiving stolen property.

7. Stop & Shop manager Kevin Wilson estimated the damage to the machine to be “well over $250,” according to the report.


The Daily Item: Lynn woman charged for bizarre can scheme

Lynn woman charged for bizarre can scheme
Originally Published on Tuesday, January 24, 2012 By Taylor Provost

LYNN. MA — Police arrested a woman at a Lynn Stop & Shop Saturday after she allegedly stole $64 worth of soda cans from the store and attempted to feed them into a digital can return machine in exchange for money, according to a Lynn Police incident report.

According to the report, Officer Craig Fountain was watching loss prevention video while on detail at the grocery store, located at 35 Washington St., around 8:45 p.m. when he observed 36-year-old Tina Cafarelli, of 37 Green St. #504, purchase 18 12-packs of assorted soda and pay with a state-issued electronic benefit transfer (EBT) card, which she allegedly also stole. Cafarelli immediately took the cans to the store’s digital can return machine and attempted to deposit them without emptying them.

[be47320]

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop specializing in handguns.

2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police car parked at the front door.

4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired.

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons.

No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire

[ThaBusdriver]

Originally Posted by be47320

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop specializing in handguns.

2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police car parked at the front door.

4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired.

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons.

No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire

He wanted some "cheddar" and wound up like swiss cheese.