Swearing at work

[cman]

SWEARING AT WORK

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from
some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the **** you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the **** do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No ****ing way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my ****ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the ****?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: **** it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

Thank You,
Human Resources

wde

[Pudge]

Lol I liked the

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.

[Dr. Jack]

Good stuff c!

[PigSkinTerror13]

good stuff c

[cman]

Originally Posted by PigSkinTerror13

good stuff c

thanks Pig and Jack

wde

[rm2533]

That list was hiliarious. Thanks CMAN.

[cman]

Originally Posted by rm2533

That list was hiliarious. Thanks CMAN.

I loved it too bro

wde

[Seanie Mac]

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the ****?

[mrwho]

Very funny cman!

[Kramer]

good stuff

i will use some of these in the mall

loooooooooool

[bcbadgalz]

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.

I have heard this one directed at me on several occasions...
I wanted to respond that I prefer "Ball Crushing Bitch " but they don't need to know about my personal life...LOL...
Great post cman !

[Steel]

Good thread, lol, sad part is I just realized I have used every "instead of" on the job sites. I guess I am lucky I work for myself. Thanks for the Laugh cman