Things I Have Learned From Watching Porn

[SPARK]

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange
man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but
rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in
the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding
ticket.
10. All women are noisy ****s.
11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was
a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man
is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly
on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each
other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having
sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven
shades of shit out of you if you shove your **** in
his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really
excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the
butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from
her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off
before ****ing the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's ****, it's
important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a
satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they
open a man's trousers and find a **** there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always
place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling
woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

[new york knight]

when delivering a pizza plan on banging the lady who answers the door

[TN TITAN Fan In STL]

LOL @ sparks post

[Keith]

presumably you've learned all this from being on my mailing list--right Spark ?

[SecretStash]

keith all these years and I have yet to get one email :|

wtf man

-stash

[Ron Mexico]

Originally Posted by new york knight

when delivering a pizza plan on banging the lady who answers the door

I got a pizza delivery job as a kid after watchin porn. After 2 weeks of fat ugly guys answering the door I quit. Dont believe the hype.

[WildKat]

Originally Posted by Ron Mexico

I got a pizza delivery job as a kid after watchin porn. After 2 weeks of fat ugly guys answering the door I quit. Dont believe the hype.

You hadnt had worse?

[LordCC]

That was a pretty detailed list, you must be an avid porn observer!

[SPARK]

Originally Posted by Keith

presumably you've learned all this from being on my mailing list--right Spark ?

I was going to title this thread ...


"Things I Have Learned From being on Keith's mailing list"


I am not joking

[Keith]

Originally Posted by SPARK

I was going to title this thread ...


"Things I Have Learned From being on Keith's mailing list"


I am not joking

[Keith]

Originally Posted by SecretStash

keith all these years and I have yet to get one email :|

wtf man

-stash

Stash--you have to be creative enough to get me your e-mail address

[Chris46139]

Or Stash, not sure if you know this or not, but there is plenty of porn on the internet, don't just have to be on the mailing list

[HAMILROCK]

I've learned that I like women wearing glasses when their giving blowjobs

[Keith]

Originally Posted by Chris46139

Or Stash, not sure if you know this or not, but there is plenty of porn on the internet, don't just have to be on the mailing list

as my mailing list members will vouch Chris, I run an up-scale operation. No youporn pulls from me.

[Windy City Irish]

i would like to be taken off the list....

powerpoints of girls naked and re-runs are no longer my cup of tea...

thanks for the years of service though....