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#1
02-27-2008, 08:39 AM
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Why men die before women
Why men die before Women is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but now we know. It requires a bit of explanation: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ... it's male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else. Why do men die first? Because they want to.
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Seth: Gimme that. Alright, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"! Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME!?!? Who are you? Seal? Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man? Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called f*cking strategy, alright? 
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#2
02-27-2008, 09:06 AM
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I know someone that should read this... I'm sure there are a lot of someones that should read this... too bad this is a male dominated forum... errr, maybe not...
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Where'd who go!?! (Hollywood - Top Gun) F Tom Hicks
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#3
02-28-2008, 06:58 AM
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Quote:
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