Wrapping X-mas presents

Yankee23 · #1 12-23-2006, 02:40 PM

I am bad, really bad.

I should just pay the $$ to the people at the mall but now it has become comical how bad I truly am.

Big Pimpin · #2 12-23-2006, 03:08 PM

gift card in a xmas card with envelope...solid wrapping there

Davydave · #3 12-23-2006, 04:24 PM

Cash-money baby.... f*** the wrapping!

peznt · #4 12-23-2006, 04:26 PM

Gift Wrapping Tips for Men

This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and,
according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with
pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it
for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs.
And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:
1. They were wise.
2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion:
This is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know.

One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it."

The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift.

"No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones
that looked like enormous spitballs."

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can
take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of
a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector
with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that
requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women
than to men.

That is why today I am presenting:

GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN:
Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped.
If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half
horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.

If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the
lucky recipient on Christmas morning:

YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?

YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!

YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.

YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!

YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.

YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important
thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

~Male Author Unknown~

Steel · #5 12-23-2006, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yankee23

I am bad, really bad.

I should just pay the $$ to the people at the mall but now it has become comical how bad I truly am.

Well at least everyone will know who they are from. lol, Enjoy your Christmas Yankee

Yankee23 · #6 12-23-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steel

Well at least everyone will know who they are from. lol, Enjoy your Christmas Yankee

Aint no mistaking who they are from, that's fer sure.

Thanks Steel U2.

Jimmy K · #7 12-23-2006, 09:48 PM

the only things i hate wrapping are small things like cd's, pain in the ass to fold the ends, i'm money on all the rest though. i guess it paid off that my mother made me start wrapping presents for people when i was a kid.

jaypasco · #8 12-24-2006, 12:02 AM

you take a big piece (twice as big as present) then just fold around present,twist the opening up at the top and then maybe a rubber band so it holds.